Well, it's late here, and I have a loooooong day at work tomorrow. Had dinner with some colleagues tonight, and laughed harder than I have in a long time. So nice! But, before I head off to bed, I wanted to share some words from Pema Chodron in her book Comfortable With Uncertainty. I LOVE this book, because it seems like the theme of my life for the past 6 months, and into the foreseeable future, is uncertainty. Actually, if you think about it, that's the theme of everyone's life, although we trick ourselves into thinking that things are much more solid and stable than they actually are...anyhow, here it is...words to LIVE by:
Moving into our experience--whether it's the opening experience of love and compassion or the closing-down experience of resentment and separation--brings us an enormous sense of freedom: the freedom of nothing solid. Something about "nothing solid" begins to equal freedom. In the meantime, we discover that we would rather feel fully present to our lives than be off trying to make everything solid and secure by engaging our fantasies or our addictive patterns. We realize that connecting with our experience by meeting it feels better than resisting it by moving away. Being on the spot, even if it hurts, is preferable to avoiding. As we practice moving in the present moment this way, we become more familiar with groundlessness, a fresh state of being that is available to us on an ongoing basis. This moving away from comfort and security, this stepping out into what is unknown, uncharted, and shaky--that's called liberation.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Finally...health is on the horizon
Whoa! That was an incapacitating week...whatever crazy little virus I managed to pick up knocked me out for a bit there...the worst part--an entire weekend of potential adventuring spent in bed...think I only left my hotel once this weekend...to get kleenex at the commissary. B-o-r-i-n-g. Not very blog-worthy. This however, IS...
So, I did not actually go here, because I don't think I would ever actually go here. The entire thing seems so wrong to me on so many levels---it's an indoor beach. Yup, indoor. You know how much I love the beach---and this seems to take everything I love about the beach away. It's enclosed in a dome, no salt water, the sand is "marble chips", the waves and temperature are perfectly controlled at all times. And--it costs about $50 to go. The absolute salt-in-the-wound part of it all--it's on an ISLAND!! Wha?!? My beaches in Hawaii were SO much better! And...if the indoor beach isn't really your scene, you can go next door to the plastic rainforest with faux parrots, fish, and dinosaurs, minus rain and bugs (of course). I'm not making this stuff up...it's true people.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Correction
My friend T informed me that the weird paper-towely thing that is handed to you upon entering a dressing room is a bag that you are supposed to put over your head so that you don't get makeup on the clothing. So...apparently not (as someone else told me) a shield from germs. It still is a very germ conscious society, though.
Speaking of germs...I seem to have picked up a few that have taken up residence in my body. No fun. It's no fun being sick in general, but when you are in Japan, with no tried and true friends nearby, it's even less fun. I've been spending my time off from work sleeping and watching tons of tv online. Being here has really made me question the point of paying for cable...I can get all my shows online for free! So...sorry that I don't have any new, exciting stories about life in Japan, but I could tell you a lot about the juicy plots from grey's anatomy, being erica, and one tree hill....off to drink more tea and lie on my couch.
Speaking of germs...I seem to have picked up a few that have taken up residence in my body. No fun. It's no fun being sick in general, but when you are in Japan, with no tried and true friends nearby, it's even less fun. I've been spending my time off from work sleeping and watching tons of tv online. Being here has really made me question the point of paying for cable...I can get all my shows online for free! So...sorry that I don't have any new, exciting stories about life in Japan, but I could tell you a lot about the juicy plots from grey's anatomy, being erica, and one tree hill....off to drink more tea and lie on my couch.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Shirimasen (I don't know)
There are a lot of things that I don't know here on a daily basis:
I did not know what this was:
I could NOT figure out what this was...they hand you this folded up cloth that looks like a paper towel whenever you go into a dressing room...was I supposed to somehow put this on my body before trying on clothes? Turns out, they hand you the number card (you know, that says how many items you have when you enter the dressing room) with this, and want you to hand it back with it so that they don't touch your hands and germs. Interesting huh? It is a very germ conscious society here in Japan.
I don't know where I'm going--I jump from train to train to get into Tokyo, never really knowing exactly where I'm going, trying to match the names on the signs with the names I have written down that are supposed to get me to where I want to go.
I don't know what I'm eating---not a lot of English is spoken here, so when I'm out, and hungry, I pick something that looks like it won't have meat in it, and hope for the best. The other day, I took a scoop of noodle salad. It looked harmless---until it looked back at me. There were a dozen pairs of eyes--some little tiny kind of fish. This vegetarian turned pseudo-pescatarian could NOT handle that. I did end up having my first "curry roll" this way. I was told that it was a cheese roll, and it did have cheese on top, but was filled with curry sauce on the inside. It was pretty tasty.
I don't know what I'm hearing---I've noticed that sometimes, people will continue talking to me, even after I have that blank expression on my face that says "I have no idea what you're saying". I just go with it. Sometimes you can have conversations with people without using a lot of words.
I don't know what's next---for those of you who don't know, I'm currently working as a contractor, providing mental health support services to military families and their children. Because I am a contractor, there are no guarantees. I could have an assignment, or I could not. The program is going through a lot of changes, and sometimes it seems that this may be the end of this gig for me, which would be fine, but...then what? I've been trying really hard to breathe through this, and not get bogged down in the anxiety that often accompanies uncertainty. Being here, traveling in this country where so much is uncertain to me, helps me to realize the excitement that can also accompany uncertainty. I've never really understood when people get scared about getting on the wrong train, going down the wrong street, getting lost in a strange country...what's the worst that can happen? You'll find yourself somewhere else, on the next adventure. I'm trying to look at life a little more like traveling.
I did not know what this was:
I could NOT figure out what this was...they hand you this folded up cloth that looks like a paper towel whenever you go into a dressing room...was I supposed to somehow put this on my body before trying on clothes? Turns out, they hand you the number card (you know, that says how many items you have when you enter the dressing room) with this, and want you to hand it back with it so that they don't touch your hands and germs. Interesting huh? It is a very germ conscious society here in Japan.
I don't know where I'm going--I jump from train to train to get into Tokyo, never really knowing exactly where I'm going, trying to match the names on the signs with the names I have written down that are supposed to get me to where I want to go.
My Tokyo train map
I don't know what I'm eating---not a lot of English is spoken here, so when I'm out, and hungry, I pick something that looks like it won't have meat in it, and hope for the best. The other day, I took a scoop of noodle salad. It looked harmless---until it looked back at me. There were a dozen pairs of eyes--some little tiny kind of fish. This vegetarian turned pseudo-pescatarian could NOT handle that. I did end up having my first "curry roll" this way. I was told that it was a cheese roll, and it did have cheese on top, but was filled with curry sauce on the inside. It was pretty tasty.
I don't know what I'm hearing---I've noticed that sometimes, people will continue talking to me, even after I have that blank expression on my face that says "I have no idea what you're saying". I just go with it. Sometimes you can have conversations with people without using a lot of words.
I don't know what's next---for those of you who don't know, I'm currently working as a contractor, providing mental health support services to military families and their children. Because I am a contractor, there are no guarantees. I could have an assignment, or I could not. The program is going through a lot of changes, and sometimes it seems that this may be the end of this gig for me, which would be fine, but...then what? I've been trying really hard to breathe through this, and not get bogged down in the anxiety that often accompanies uncertainty. Being here, traveling in this country where so much is uncertain to me, helps me to realize the excitement that can also accompany uncertainty. I've never really understood when people get scared about getting on the wrong train, going down the wrong street, getting lost in a strange country...what's the worst that can happen? You'll find yourself somewhere else, on the next adventure. I'm trying to look at life a little more like traveling.
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