Shirimasen (I don't know)

There are a lot of things that I don't know here on a daily basis:

I did not know what this was:

I could NOT figure out what this was...they hand you this folded up cloth that looks like a paper towel whenever you go into a dressing room...was I supposed to somehow put this on my body before trying on clothes?  Turns out, they hand you the number card (you know, that says how many items you have when you enter the dressing room) with this, and want you to hand it back with it so that they don't touch your hands and germs.  Interesting huh?  It is a very germ conscious society here in Japan.


I don't know where I'm going--I jump from train to train to get into Tokyo, never really knowing exactly where I'm going, trying to match the names on the signs with the names I have written down that are supposed to get me to where I want to go.

My Tokyo train map

I don't know what I'm eating---not a lot of English is spoken here, so when I'm out, and hungry, I pick something that looks like it won't have meat in it, and hope for the best.  The other day, I took a scoop of noodle salad.  It looked harmless---until it looked back at me.  There were a dozen pairs of eyes--some little tiny kind of fish.  This vegetarian turned pseudo-pescatarian could NOT handle that.  I did end up having my first "curry roll" this way.  I was told that it was a cheese roll, and it did have cheese on top, but was filled with curry sauce on the inside.  It was pretty tasty.

I don't know what I'm hearing---I've noticed that sometimes, people will continue talking to me, even after I have that blank expression on my face that says "I have no idea what you're saying".  I just go with it.  Sometimes you can have conversations with people without using a lot of words.

I don't know what's next---for those of you who don't know, I'm currently working as a contractor, providing mental health support services to military families and their children.  Because I am a contractor, there are no guarantees.  I could have an assignment, or I could not.  The program is going through a lot of changes, and sometimes it seems that this may be the end of this gig for me, which would be fine, but...then what?  I've been trying really hard to breathe through this, and not get bogged down in the anxiety that often accompanies uncertainty.  Being here, traveling in this country where so much is uncertain to me, helps me to realize the excitement that can also accompany uncertainty.  I've never really understood when people get scared about getting on the wrong train, going down the wrong street, getting lost in a strange country...what's the worst that can happen?  You'll find yourself somewhere else, on the next adventure.  I'm trying to look at life a little more like traveling.